COUPLES COUNSELING

Home is where the heart is…

You round the corner toward home eager for some time alone to unwind and decompress. Their car is in the driveway, and your heart sinks! Your pleasant welcome is forced, and the expression you see tells you that their greeting is also deflated and insincere.

When did this divide between us become so thick?

How did we let children, jobs, and the messiness of life muck up our relationship? Didn’t we recognize the slippery slope as it went from different bedtimes to different sleeping locations to undressing in private?

Before, conversations were natural and uncomplicated, and now even seemingly simple discussions spiral into arguments.

Most days we don’t even care enough to argue.

We have become complacent.

Deep down, you are aware your needs are no longer being met.

You feel selfish and guilty about even wanting satisfaction. You feel fear about being vulnerable and dread the thought of making changes. Most days the relationship feels like a job and is no longer joyful.

Others may view your relationship as strong, but it is an illusion. You are filling their cup while your cup feels empty most of the time – or filled up from children, family, and friends, but not from your life partner.

Relationships take work.

When did we stop working on ours? In their career, they energetically re-brand, shift marketing strategies, tend to hiccups, incorporate fresh ideas, and are open to other perspectives.

But at home, we just coast and tread water. Why did we expect our relationship to endure without the same intention and focus?

You are not selfish to want to feel fulfilled.

You do not have to endure a disappointing relationship. The scaffolding, which once effortlessly supported the both of you, can be rebuilt and made even stronger.

Restore your intimacy and shared meaning for the future.

I will help you gain awareness of the patterns and behaviors that are causing difficulties and keeping you stuck.

The armor will be shed and will allow for openness – where you both can actively listen to one another to see the reality of what the other is experiencing. Emotions will be shared without blame and reflections revealed without defensiveness.

I will teach you how to relate to behaviors in new ways, resolve conflicts, and identify and heal injuries at their core.

In the process, you will become more self-aware and will feel known, seen, and heard. You will experience trust, intimacy, and true connection in your relationship once again.

Relationships ARE difficult, but you can reclaim the joy in yours!

If you are motivated to change the dynamic of the status quo and get back to being a genuinely loving couple again, I’m here to guide you. Together, we can embrace new and healthy perspectives. Contact me at (602) 329-0483 to get started.